In the last book club meeting we tackled the ever-ongoing debate of how men and women relate to each other. Steve Harvey’s Act like a Lady Think like a Man was the book, which inspired the discussion. The members thought that the book was written in a manner that was easily understood. They thought it was light-hearted and funny. For the most part they enjoyed the read. However most members felt that the book was written from a very individualistic viewpoint. One member said that he hadn’t ever read a book that was as chauvinistic as this was. He said it was like Harvey was saying that your expectations of men are completely unrealistic. No man can live up to your standards. This is what a man is so deal with it.
The women in the meeting weren’t completely surprised by the points Harvey was making. Many were things that they already knew. They said they could see where he was going with the book but it really didn’t apply so much to the Canadian men they knew and even less to the men of Caribbean. But members did understand that Harvey’s viewpoint was based on his community. And the viewpoint was extremely patriarchal. One member expressed displeasure with the title saying that women don’t need to act, they should just be a lady. Another member took it further stating that the idea of being a lady speaks of a European hierarchy and she refuses to act or even pretend to be a “lady”.
Members liked Harvey’s overall message however. They felt that Harvey was saying that woman have the power but often are afraid to exercise it. They thought that Harvey’s 90-day rule when first meeting a man was unrealistic but really enjoyed the analogy of going fishing and deciding whether a man is a “throwback” or a “keeper”. Harvey goes on to say that men respect women who have standards so women - get some! Harvey says that women should set goals for their own lives and know what type of man they deserve instead of letting men come into their lives and take advantage of them. Members respected the statement but also found it contradictory to Harvey’s earlier contention that men are just the way the are so deal with it.
The question arose as to how would a woman get over the fear of walking away from a man once he doesn’t fit the criteria outlined by Harvey. Especially since women have a tendency to adapt to a man’s life. One response was that a woman should be able to use less emotion when trying to read into a man because men depend on their logic more than their emotions.
After completing the book members decided that the book’s real title should be ‘Woman - its your fault!’ because the overall lesson of the book was for women to widen their tolerance and lessen their expectations
